Dear John,

After careful consideration, I have decided things are just not working out between us. I made certain guidelines for myself years ago and, quite frankly, my boyfriend looking better in a dress is one of them. So I’m afraid it’s over.

Sincerely, Ann

P.S. Kindly return all my clothing you borrowed

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My friend Laura jokingly suggested the above words for the letter after I mentioned wanting it to be a “Dear John” letter but wasn’t sure what to write. She found it hilarious that I actually used her suggestion in the painting.